The Profile
Name: Sotaro
Nationality: Japanese American
Lives in: San Cristobal Las Casas, Mexico
Age when taken medicine: 30
Job: English teacher
Medicine of choice: Kambo
Place of ceremony: Lake Atitlan, Guatemala
What was your intention?
I wanted to heal and to clean myself and my body of toxins.
Why did you take it?
It was in Guatemala, beginning of 2018. I was in Lake Atitlan – it’s one of the hot spots in Guatemala for being a high spiritual energy place. There are dozens of yoga retreats & ashrams and Ayahuasca centres there. A lot of people are attracted by this lake that’s surrounded by volcanoes – it’s a beautiful, majestic place.
It was the same with me - something just attracted me there and when I got there, I had this feeling I had to live there for some time. I was lucky enough that when I first got there, I met an owner of a nice hotel and she offered me a job. It was a really wonderful experience right on the lake – I woke up every morning to birds chirping, the view of the lake, the sound of the waves and an occasional boat passing by.
There were many backpackers coming to the hotel and while the whole place was spiritual, there was a lot of excessive drinking going on as well. It was just a part of the routine – at night we would drink after work and then gradually stepped it up and that would continue throughout the week. So, I started to drink a lot – that was the backpacker culture at a party hostel.
One day, I was lying on my bed feeling really bad after the whole night of drinking and I got this message “Sotaro, you have to do kambo. You need to do kambo”. I was felt so toxic – my body was filled with alcohol and god knows what else I had put in there over the last 10 years. I remembered this ad in the facebook Lake Atitlan community group advertising for kambo and it just called my name.
So, when I found myself lying on my bed, wasted, at 5am, I was determined to cleanse my body and my spirit and so I went to that place. I arrived there and there was this Dutch lady who’s also in the kambo group on facebook. She was very sweet and understanding and could see I was scared.
She told me to first drink 2-3 littles of water, so I had to down 2 big bottles of it. She told me it was necessary for the treatment as I was going to be purging a lot. I struggled to take down such a large amount of water. She then prepared her toolkit: one of them included a stick where she applied the kambo poison on the tip. The other one she used to burn holes with – she lit it on fire and began poking holes in my skin – 5 of them. The burning was uncomfortable but it wasn’t that bad, so I just shrugged it off.
Then once the holes were burnt, she placed the kambo medicine into the blood stream. Automatically, I start feeling a rush of energy and my body is starting to produce a large amount of heat. Then, my face starts to swell up – I felt a lot of energy there, tingling sensation. I could feel this force moving through my body. Surely thereafter I began throwing up A LOT. She had buckets ready next to us. All the water I just drank came out of me like a waterfall.
I vomited for good 45 min and she congratulated me because the more you purge the better it is for you. Typically, people vomit for 10 min but I guess my liver was very toxic. I remember seeing these black little squiggly things in the bucket and I asked her what that was. She said, these were toxins from my liver. So, I was thoroughly cleaning it – all this nasty stuff could be from smoking cigarettes, drinking and eating meat – who knows, it just builds up over time and it all came out.
Then, I remember lying down, relaxing, still feeling pain like nausea and discomfort but I had these Buddhist beads with me that I have always travelled with – I’ve had them since I was about 7 years’ old and I started rubbing them together (this is what we do in Buddhism when we pray). Whenever I was at a time of fear or uncertainty, I always take them and rub them and do a little chant as I did when I was a little kid and that helps me set an intention to heal and to protect me. A big part of it is believing in the source and setting your intentions.
What were you most afraid of?
I first saw it being performed in 2012 but I chickened out. Initially, I was about to do Ayahuasca - I chickened out of it. And then, I said, “I’m going to come back and do kambo” but wanted to watch people do it first. I saw how they were reacting and I totally freaked out and decided not to do it. If you see the people who undergo kambo, it looks frightening: their faces swell up, they start vomiting, they have this look of nausea and pain and they are moaning and groaning, they are suffering and going through a lot of pain. That’s what scared me about it then.
When I finally did it, a couple of days later, I would start getting these chest pains, pretty bad and scary ones. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks so, I was thinking OK, this might be an anxiety issue but the pain shifted its way through my body. The practitioner told me that kambo was still working in me and everyone’s body reacts differently but I freaked out and thought something was happening with my heart.
One night after the 2nd session, I ended up going to the hospital. I had to take a boat for 45 min to get there. I was really worried something went wrong, but it just turned out to be an anxiety attack because of these sensations I felt in my body. So, I never completed the 3rd kambo session I was advised to do – I felt that I was good enough then.
What did you most look forward to?
Feeling healthy and light.
In the past, whenever I got sick, I always sought out alternative medicine: Chinese herbal medicine, I had dozens of reiki sessions, psilocybin – that’s where I started my adventure with healing medicines.
Mushrooms completely changed the course of my life: they allowed me to see in a more open way, get in touch with nature, with myself, meditation, spirituality, changing my perspectives, law of attraction. I would say mushrooms were the starting point.
When I was in my early 20s, I suffered from depression and terrible anxiety most of my life. When I was in high school, I couldn’t even talk in a group of people – I struggled so much with anxiety, it really controlled my life. Taking mushrooms, practicing meditation, changing the wiring in my brain allowed me to open up the world of opportunities – that’s why I began backpacking the world. I’ve been living abroad and traveling the world for 6 years now and as I go, I hear stories from people of what they did, the treatments and ceremonies – that’s why I ended up doing kambo.
I remember I posted it on facebook and everyone thought I was crazy. “You could have really hurt yourself” – that’s the reaction I got from a lot of people. And I knew what I was doing. There’s been a few cases of death associated to it but there are no real numbers and it’s very rare.
What was the hardest bit about the experience?
The anxiety about what’s going to happen? The heart and the mind often play tricks on us. We are all afraid of pain, we don’t want to feel it. It wasn’t that bad to be honest – I’ve had worse hangovers.
When you look at someone doing it, it looks like they are having a seizure and it can be very frightening and turn off anyone from trying it. I’ve heard of people who have done 20 sessions of kambo within a few months’ period because they had cancer or another serious illness. I am not sure of those success stories but for me it definitely cleaned up my body and got rid of the nasty stuff that got built in my body.
What was the best bit about the experience?
I felt I was safe. It helped a lot that the practitioner came from the place of love and calm. I felt comfortable with her. She was there to look after me and make sure I was OK, take care of me during the ceremony.
The outcome - I felt lighter and more at peace mentally.
After Guatemala, I moved to Peru and as I was having some health problems, I thought kambo might work on it. This was the 3rd time I had been doing it. I could feel the energy go down to that area where I was feeling sick, I could literally feel the heat emanating from the area where I could feel the pain. I knew it was going to work.
I am very sensitive to my body, I feel everything and I speak from the bottom of my heart when I say kambo has healing powers. I’ve heard some miracle stories with kambo too. For instance this lady treated a street dog that had a lot of worms and was really sick and was dying. She applied kambo to the anus of the dog and the next day the dog fully recovered, was jumping all over and was like a reborn dog.
They say there are thousands or more peptides in kambo but it's still not fully known what all the chemicals inside of it are. From my personal experience, it was really beneficial to my health, to my detox and I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.
What did you get from it?
I started to adopt healthier habits: I would drink less, started to watch my diet more and what I was putting to my body. I then quit alcohol for about a year – that was a nice break for me, being someone who drank and partied a lot.
Also, it led me to my girlfriend. I met her in Peru and I would have never met her, had I not stopped drinking. It was 4am in a club and we were the most sober ones there. She was not drunk, and I was completely sober. Her friend was wasted and introduced me to her and we bonded and connected. If I had been drunk, I probably would have never met her. She probably would have seen my drunk a*se and be like “Eww, he’s so wasted.”
We’ve been together for what will be close to 2 years in September. She’s been an anchor in my life. I just don’t need to go out and drink and party – I just spend the night with her at the house, watching a movie. By meeting her, I set on a healthier path in life.
How did it impact your life?
Definitely helped me cleanse my body. I know in the future, if I ever feel like I have a serious illness, before I begin chemotherapy or any sort of other serious surgery, I will take kambo to heal my body and my mind. When I had health problems in my life, Western medicine treated it but did not heal it – that’s what led me on to learn about alternative medicines. Kambo is up there – super powerful, extreme stuff.
I know that Ayahuasca affects you more at a spiritual level and I do understand the power it has to change our lives. Kambo is more on the physical side. It goes to work on the body, it cleanses it. There is also wisdom to it – I believe you get in touch with your inner spirit by taking kambo. It directs you about what you should stop and start doing, it shows you the path in terms of taking care of your health, your body and mind. It works as a gut instinct.
When I did it, I listened to my gut, even if I was scared. We are all scared. Even as a world traveller, every time I buy that plane ticket, I’m so scared. The night of the flight, I’m scared. The difference is: do I let that fear control me and stop me or do I go through with it. That’s another thing kambo taught me: even if I’m scared, just go through with it.
I believe in the power of natural medicine – I personally benefited from it. Even if it’s the experience is not fun, you come out of it as a different person.
What did you struggle with after?
When I lived in Peru, I still went out to socialise with friends – I found that difficult. I usually leave now when people get a little bit belligerent – it’s become difficult to understand when they reach a certain level of drugs, it’s just not entertaining. My daily life and activities I partake in are less on the partying side now.
Unfortunately, I got sucked into bad habits when I first got there. I realised that in order to stop doing it, I had to stop drinking alcohol because I was in an environment that was so enticing to consume all this stuff. So, step by step, having done kambo has led me to the life I lead today.
Who you surround yourself with has a massive impact on our lives. I loved my friends in Peru, they were great but they were just drinking and partying and doing too much of that stuff. They were 12 years my senior, so they were in their late 30s and 40s and been drinking and partying for over 20 years. I wonder when it is going to get old for them – they are in this vicious cycle. I was in it too.
I recognised I had a bad habit. Drinking Thursday, Friday, Saturday and then Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday I’m depressed because of the heavy partying, the drugs and the drinking. That cycle was just getting old. I think that’s what happened with me – I did to much of it and I was able to say enough is enough and I needed to change. So, yes, it is that drive to become a better version of myself. I strive to grow – it’s one of my leading philosophies in life.
What improved?
As I was lying there, right after taking kambo, I was sensitive to light and I felt light myself, as if a huge weight had lifted off my shoulders energy wise and toxins wise – I purged a lot. About 2-3 hours after the initial application, when I was well rested, I got up and left. I ate a light meal – my body was craving light healthy food, so I got hummus, bread and vegetables. I no longer crave these toxic things I used to put in my body.
I’m much more conscious of the life I live and what I put in my body. A lot of my focus has now shifted to “you are what you eat”, so I’m careful. I’m not super strict though – I eat what I need to eat to get the nutrients my body needs but I’m much more mindful for sure.
At that time, I needed to cut down on alcohol and partying, which I did. I’m 32 now. I like to have a little drink after work to destress but my days of partying and excess drinking all throughout the night are long gone. Not sure whether it’s because I partied too much in my 20s and I’m old now and it’s not fun anymore or maybe it’s just kambo guided me towards a healthier path in life.
What do you need to work on?
“Get comfortable at being uncomfortable” is one of my things because we grow in uncomfortable situations. That’s why I love travelling and finding myself in new situations. Open heart and open mind.
I’m always striving to become a better person than I was a year ago: having new experiences, improving my Spanish, my Japanese, learning from other people. I’m always on a path to growth.
It’s one of the meanings of life: to grow as an individual and to share your knowledge and experiences with others so they may help themselves. I never force anyone to change, even if I know they are doing something bad for themselves. I give them advice and experiences by showing them the way but I will never force them. It’s up to each person individually to improve themselves. I always love to share my experiences though – I like to give people the tools to change their lives.
What would be your advice if you were to do it again?
I’d just say to myself “Take your beads, set your intention and do your chant for what you want: the spirit, the light, the Buddha, the source or whatever you want, to look after me.”
Sotaro's old life is not unlike many other people's: habits that are designed to numb the anxiety or pain we are feeling but also causing more of it as a consequence. In the end, it's hard to live a life where you can be true to yourself if you are constantly numb.
I was both impressed and reassured that Sotaro was able to hear the inner voice and listen to his gut telling him to get better. The kambo call clearly came at a right moment for him but regardless of that, it still required enough drive and determination to get past his anxiety and fears to actually do it.
While kambo is not a psychedelic, it's yet another example of a natural medicine men have used for years. Sure, the ceremonies are not pretty and as a result instagram-friendly (unless people like to look at swollen faces and vomit) but it all goes along with this old idea that in order to get something good, we oftentimes must be prepared to do something hard.
Sotaro keeps travelling and is currently staying at the sickeningly charming San Cristobal Las Casas in Mexico. He sounds much more balanced and grounded these days (vs. what he said he was doing in the past). His journey is not over but he knows he's on the right path now - a wonderful feeling after years of feeling lost, I'm sure.
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